wispfox

What if fireflies only look like bugs when you get really close because they don't want you to know that they are fairies with glowsticks?

Or if the ghost plant really _is_ where fairies dance, and they light up oh so slightly when you aren't looking?

Maybe the wind and everything it moves - leaves, clouds, birds - are playing, dancing, putting on a show. How do you know they aren't?

Maybe rivers are talking to you as they rush past and yet stay where they are, or singing, or laughing. Maybe they're tickling the creatures which live in them, seeing if they can make them giggle.

Sometimes I need to be reminded to play, to stop being so stuck in what's likely or realistic or expected, to enjoy swingsets and trees and clouds and wind. Sometimes 'let's pretend' is the most important game I can play, no matter what I call it.

I've never been sure if it matters if energy work, astral travel, things like that are real or not, if they are useful tools or ways of thinking about things. If they have good effects, if they calm me.

I ground, I center. Why? Because if I don't, I lose my calm and can't get it back again.

Sometimes I wander around the insides of my mind, or maybe the insides of the astral plane. I don't care if it's real or not, although that was a very difficult thing to come to agreement with myself on, because it _helps_ me. Maybe it's a form of meditation, although that's not what I would call it.

As a child, I would sing to the creek in the backyard, because it was singing, too. I can remember long duets, although I remember no notes nor words. I still talk to and hug trees, and when I forget how to ground, they can help me to do so. Birds in flight, especially swallows and swifts, look like they are having so much _fun_, even though they are also hunting for their food. And maybe they are.

Silence and stillness help me to see what's around me, rather than just moving quickly through it. I'm no longer passing through, I'm part of things, and that's important to me. It's far too easy to forget to look, forget to listen, forget why it's so important to me to do so. And then I'm unhappy and I don't know why. I think this may be why I am so insistent on sharing bits of beauty and amusement with people when I notice them. Because I forget to look, so other people likely do, too.

This entry most probably brought to you by some combination of creating a Changeling character and attempting to start work on grad school essays. Also perhaps a certain amount of lack of sleep.

I can has playground and swingsets and monkeybars and *gleeee*! :)

There were many days in the White Mountains with metahacker.

There were stars, many many stars. And we never even went anywhere specific to go look at them.

There was walking in woods and mountains and rivers and mushrooms of various and unexpected colors and shapes. There were rocks for crossing wet places, for sitting on, for petting, for having pet rocks, and for being pets of rocks.

There was cuddling. A whole lot of cuddling. Also, cuddling.

There were conversations about bears and moose, but no actual sightings by the two of us of either one.

There was a gradual increase in ability to deal with walking in places with uphillness.

There was a cold with a fever that came and went.

There was conversation, chatting, silliness, and connecting.

There was a room that could have been better in various ways, but which was still a good room for being a room in which there was much time spent with metahacker.

There was a hot tub that I never got around to using. There were various very friendly owners and workers at the Bed & Breakfast we stayed at. There are wee pretty paintings, and postcards that failed to be sent while we were actually there.

There was grumpy, there was tired, but there was also a deep low level joy at being in mountains with trees and green and quiet.

There was remembering that mountains and hills are a rightness for me, in ways that flatness is not. And also remembering that places that tend to have them also tend to not have much to do in the evening.

There was much passing of various towns I've lived in or near, remembering when Concord, NH was a big city to me (Boston used to terrify me; Manhattan still does, although less so), seeing various towns that I think my high school used to have sports games at.

There were times when there was too much moving and I needed to just sit for a while and talk to the mountains and trees and grass. There were many more times when I just knew where I was, and was glad.

There was a fire, marshmallows, and small, hyper children. There was very little reading, and no internet access (or indeed, a computer, for me).

There was beauty. There was simplicity. There was quiet. There was time away with metahacker. And it was indeed good. I really needed that, for the time away, for the nature, for the time with metahacker.

There are pictures, which I may get around to posting some of.

There is a cupboard full of games in our cafeteria!

I know because I happened to notice a label saying 'games' while filing my water bottle, said "Seriously?", opened it, and yes, seriously! Checkers & Chess & magnet things & building things!

Now I want magnet toys, again (I nearly always do, when I remember, and my hands might actually make it not a stupid idea now!). Magnetix!