wispfox

-random conversations with a co-worker about interesting zoos in China with lots of tigers and pandas (made all the better by the sheer _glee_ involved in talking about it)
-People wanting to help me to do research, both just to help me out, and because they are themselves curious (even if some of them were unable due to requirements)
-Pretty music, from various sources, including suggestions by people I'm close to and things played by sweeties
-seeing people who are usually too far away, even if as is always true the visit is too brief.
-bursting out laughing multiple times during said visit
-local sweetie returned to the area
-thoroughly not-local sweetie to be here again in about a month
-hugs
-kisses
-best roommate in the world still is both the best and my roommate.
-funny/good/interesting conversations with all sorts of people
-kitty remembers that it's the time of year that I sit in front of the light for breakfast time, and comes running from wherever he is in the house when he hears the light click on
-I'm driving myself to work three days a week, taking a class, working full-time (which is being especially crazy right now). And my wrists _are still handling things_.
-is loved.
-loves.
-silly camera videos of dogs wrestling. One of which was partly under a sheet. Sheet puppy! Really, _really_ happy puppy tails!
-"hers [camera] is bigger than yours!"

Just happy.

And it's certainly not the weather! :) Even if the trees do remain pretty.

Ok, back to working again.

-hands that can handle driving to work & back, & petting people & kitties, & class, & silly games
-knowing who australian_joe _is_, again.
-silly/sweet/cute movies like Juno
-showers
-air conditioning so my attic apartment doesn't prevent sleeping (and anything involving touching other people) all summer.
-metahacker
-psinging, for people I love, for singing with others
-my arms being noticeably stronger to external comparisons

but now, sleep. hopefully.

I really, really want a thing which will open all links (specifically, bugs, but it matters not) in a (bugzilla, metrics, etc) lists in tabs for me. Or let me highlight a list of links and open them in tabs.

Goddamn clicking on links! Makes sad wrists...

[edit: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/425 will do what I want. Yay, volta!]

Driving to work was not bad, once I remembered to relax. So driving home should be fine, and I _should_ be able to try driving to and from work one day a week again! *hopeful*

It is, however, perhaps not the wisest choice of music to play "Long Way", by Antje Duvekot (from Little Peppermints) on the way to work, when I'm already filled with wanderlust. :) (but I still appreciate the recommendation, metahacker!)

I keep having an ENOBRAIN error. This makes getting things done difficult!

It's beautiful out, though. And I have a way shorter commute after work than I feared.

It's moderately amusing having had anyone ever ask me 'what people do' (in a specific situation). I seem to recall I commented that I have no idea what 'people' do, but that I can try to explain what _I_ do, inasmuch as ever having specific ideas of what I will or will not do has much useful effect beyond expanding my concept of possibilities (this is why there are _guidelines_, not rules, in my world). (cultural norms? You think I know those? Ha! :)

So. Tired.

But much less absurdly warm at home, as of last night.

Not eating cravings food is not because I am not allowing myself, it's because timing/hunger levels when availability/available amounts/energy levels have been conspiring against me. I'm not one who tends not to eat things if I want them. (or do things, for that matter)

ENOBRAIN!

Back to testing something _not urgent_ for the first time in at least two weeks. Sheesh.

*ignores pending urgent things that have not yet landed*

Mmm. Weekend soon. And my wrists are thinking about letting me possibly consider strength work while doing class things, even with crazy work. Miraculous! Massage last night helped, even if I was falling asleep during it.

Interesting things to remember...

People interactions get exponential very quickly. Tis is not bad, but it is time consuming. When I had no local sweeties, I had a lot more time for maintaining friends relationships. Also, driving is problematic, again.

Because... taking a class is _time-consuming_, if fun, and another step toward future plans, and wrist-usage (esp that first partial week!).

It's funny seeing my trouble with word problems and putting theoretical knowledge into practice illustrated so vividly. My problem with math stats in not the math (not at all), it's knowing what to use, when, and why. Give me the reasons and pattern and big picture, because in all likelihood, I will not figure it out.

But I think the prof has figured it out (or we're just getting out of the definitions), because this week hurts my brain much less. Good thing, because my wrists were hating me, since I was also not sleeping.

And this weekend was good, if really warm. And even if I did take until last night to figure out sleep evils.

(Ignore the time and date-stamp! Going to bed after this!)

Taking an online class from tomorrow through beginning of Aug; unclear how much this will reduce my online presence, and driving availability, as I will need to pull points from _somewhere_, and those are most possible places to pull from. Hopefully I am better enough that it will be about time, not wrist overuse concerns.

On the promising front, I went to two BBQs today under my own power. :) _And_, I'm managing to take my normal anti-depressant break (as I could not last summer, due to stress from wrists and the cascading effects thereof). Currently every other day; stopping for the summer next Sat.

It's _really_ odd attempting to summarize my life for the past 15 years. Also, my life, when compared to 'typical' people, is really quite unusual. :)


There was sun for _days_. And it's starting to no longer be the worst part of sinter for me. Feels a rather lot like I've been asleep for months. But then, I was both overwhelmed on multiple levels _and_ dealing with winter. Which is not over, and which I'm sure I mill be reminded of soon enough. :)


Sometimes I find really absurd things to fret about. Usually, the best tack to take in those situations (if I can make myself) is to tackle them head-on.


It's interesting to try to find the line between 'useful things I know about myself' and 'because I believe this limitation exists, I won't be able to beat it'. For example, I have trouble remembering proper nouns (yes, this includes people's names). This extends to vocabulary, whether it be foreign language words, terminology, or pretty much anything where there is a word to learn that has no real reason _why_ it associates. This made such classes as Anatomy & Physiology (I&II) and Organic Chemistry _hard_. They had some bits that were about 'why' and not just straight memorization, but it was still an amazing amount of memorization of words that did not generally have any logic to them. I tend to use flash cards for this (both writing it out and reviewing them are useful).

But... it means that I am _so_ used to this as a known broken bit in my brain that I will get pretty much instantly frustrated if someone is trying to suggest ways to work around it. I suspect this is due to how much energy I've put into trying to figure it out and workaround it, but... how do I _know_ that someone else might not have a useful insight that will be helpful? For the most part, my reaction to this is that I spent most of my life fighting with this; what can someone else possibly know? Any random person, probably my reaction is reasonable, as long as my reaction remains not excessive in intensity. But what about people who study how people think or learn or remember?

What about my tendinitis? I'm pretty sure I know more than most doctors I've talked to, about my specific problem, and I get _way_ too many suggestions, even still, 2 years in. I _am_ improving, though. And sometimes I still get helpful suggestions from complete strangers.

Or my spatial awareness lack. Sometimes people are amazed that I can do [foo] without using multiple dimensions or visualization in my head, but I cannot figure out why it would be needed. So clearly, I can overcome it in some cases. And some people can explain things to me which I would expect to need functional spatial awareness or visualization. But most of the time, this is not so. Such things as torque _completely_ did not work in my head in Physics II in undergrad, because I could not find a way to understand it without spatial awareness. Same problem with trigonometry and matricies.

But at the same time, things I _do_ understand, I can explain. I can write instruction and why and such _really well_ if I know how it works. It won't be formatted in a pretty way (it'll probably be plain text), but the information will be there. And I write great docs, because I don't remember details - I remember concepts - so I write the details & the steps down for later use by me and by anyone else who needs them. And because I'm so easily confused (I do _not_ do a very job at assumptions, I begin to think), I will tend to find all the weak spots in others' explanations.

So the question here, for my memory for things with no reason why (such as proper nouns), and for my spatial awareness is this:

Where is the line between being realistic about the ways my brain does and does not work, and "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." (Richard Bach. Illusions, I think)

I guess as long as I remember to verify my expectations of how I do and do not work, and what I can and cannot do, I'll be alright. There are certainly things that I thought I was awful at that was proven wrong (writing coherently, for example. When I was still only writing by hand, the act of writing by hand always distracted me from what I was trying to say, so I would tend to lose track).

And one good thing about the winter crap (silver lining, much?) is that it makes me question _everything_ at least twice a year.

Some days, I feel like my entire goal in life is to complain about tools/interfaces that require clicking and have no (or insufficient) keyboard shortcuts.

And this was true _before_ I got tendinitis. Now I'm even more rabid about it...

But then, I am QE.

Whoever ate the sun needs to give it back.

Also, I'm offline after work today until the 2nd of Jan.