wispfox

This is truly terrible timing for a horrible headache on half my face that meds aren't touching, intense sensory defensiveness to the point of other people being a Problem because they have wants and needs and desires and emotions and usually sensory defensiveness also means overly sensitove emotion detection to the poont of it almost hurting to deal with others, and depression that is probably related to the previous two.

I'm bored, have no brain or attention span, would be hiding in the closet bc the beds are much too soft and my weighted blanket is at home except that I don't want to worry or panic anyone. I'm lonely, but people are too much for me right now such that I haven't left the room since we got here. I keep almost going to read in the hallway, but then people might want to interact when I just want to watch, then there's expectations and social norms and emotions and people are a Probpem right now. Also, I'm lonely. Which is rather strange when at a con, but there you go. Earlier, I just wanted to not be in people's thoughts for a while so I wouldn't be worrying about disappointing, worrying, upsetting or otherwise being a problem because I can't deal with people at a con. I'm no longer that hidy at least. I think the relative quiet and dark, and moving to an enclosed corner behind a chair (the protection the closet or firm bed & weighted blanket would offer to help with sensory overload is somewhat available here, too) made a big difference.

I think I overdid it this week, in part because my anti-depressant is apparently not capable of handling January, even though it handled december. So I was taken by surprise.

Mrf.