wispfox

God, I miss my kitty.

I need to not have dreams where I vividly remember holding him while he was put to sleep. How he just... stopped. And then dreams where he's not really dead, I just can't find him. So he's sad and lost and lonely and hungry and mewing for me. And I _can't find him_. Or worse, I do, but he's been without food for so long that there's no way he'll survive. Or that he's even really alive (dreams where he's alive but can't be are... hard).

Woke up mad at NSPy for not being My Kitty. Didn't do anything about this anger, but did pet him lots because he was nearby and purring madly. But he's not Ash. And not really My Kitty in any ways that Ash was.

I miss my kitty, and I'm afraid to go back to sleep for dreaming. But, especially considering that I've been sick, it's _far_ too early to just remain awake.